hope miss R can see this.

those words came out of my mouth already. yet, i know that those were just lies. lies to make myself not see the reality. lies to tell her that i do not love her anymore. lies that keeps me from moving on. 

but still, those were lies.

i love her. that's the reality. a reality that keeps on hitting me so hard. yes i know i really love that girl. the girl who changed me. the girl who taught me how to smile. 

now, 

she left me. she decided to get rid of me. i just lost the most important person in my life. no, to say it right. "i just lost my life" that would best describe it.

what makes her decide to leave me? obviously. my fault. my temper. my jealousy. 

i treated her my princess, my everything. 

but i ruined it with my words. words that aren't true. words that are said just to make here realize something. but. . .

still. . .

I lost her.

still. . .

I love her.