less than-slash-three.

in symbols. </3 
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it should be me, who's with her right now. . .but the hell i failed.
my fault. it took me hours before i finished everything. and she has no choice but to be with them. with him.
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i can't stop myself from thinking, i can't stop myself from being a nonsense guy again. 
but as she said. CHILL.

yea. chill for now. i will always chill. for her. 

ENOUGH!

some people say: "let her go, you do not deserve her", "enough of the stupidity, wake up!", "you can't make it", "she left you, move on!" and other things that will stop me. Well, i thank those people who uttered those words in front of me. Thank you for pushing me to do those things, but it won't change my decision. 

i'll keep the fight on, no giving up, no surrender, and i'm not gonna lose her. til the end i'll stand. if there are thousands of reasons of giving up. then i'll find a single reason to keep the battle on. 

gonna be on her darkest days, gonna be on her side all the time, no mistakes from the past will be repeated. everything will be perfect. 

it is my own way of loving someone, loving miss R, and loving myself. 

-Scarlet

something i fear a lot.

FEAR. 

it is overpowering me. it is beating me. it is crushing me. it is changing me.
it keeps on pulling a darker me. it keeps on making that darker side go on rage.
it keeps on destroying every bits of patience i have.

if i let that happen. it'll, for sure, ruin everything in place right now.

gonna keep the battle on. gonna defeat that FEAR. gonna overcome the darker me. gonna beat the hell out of him.

this is my brain, this is me, and this is where the only place i am the most powerful. 
this is where i rule. only i can stop my darker side from going crazy again.

gonna keep it up.

lately. things are in favor of me. and i am happy about this. well, i do have plans but those can wait.
enjoy everything right now. . .that's what i have to do.
no forcing of things. no other things to think. no problems to entertain.
i hope things are meant to be in this way. no rushing of making her fall for me. i'll just be there, a friend, a best friend, or even a brother.

Now,

what lies ahead?

i don't care.


"Do nothing, smile and everything will be okay soon" - Meso sad


-Scarlet

making sense. . .

i remembered something,

.

.

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be a better person for the one i love. . .

i almost forgot that promise to her. . and right now, i am sure, and i will be doing that promise.

everything will change on my side

as i am always saying to her: i have bags of patience, tons of love and understanding.

i realized, those aren't enough. . .she deserves more. she deserves to be a princess under my care. 

and now, it is time to change.

time to make her feel that she's the most beautiful girl in my eyes.

and love everything about her, especially her craziness. her laziness. her being moody. 

time to chage.

a better Jelal,

that would be me. 

i don't care, i still love you!

confessions. . .

such confession killed me, crushed me, and wrecked me.

.

.

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that was too hard for me to accept. . .but still, i don't care. . .i love her. 

.

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i love her and i should be contented having her back on my side again. .

-Scarlet

hit me hard. . .

let's name her HAPPY. and hell she's making me happy.
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the fair skin. rosy chicks. straight hair.
the attitude. it keeps me from liking her.

i dunno why. but we keep on exchanging glances, smiling at each other,
...

she's happy. i'm happy.

gotta be contented with this. gotta do things slowly.